do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My ass is underappreciated
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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