You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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