I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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