let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize