Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
