So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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