Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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