glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
