He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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