I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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