I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i think im in europe. pls send help
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
