Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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