we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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