i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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