guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
only you would photoshop your dick
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
