just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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