Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
