Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I currently don't understand fingers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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