girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
