Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he shaved USA in his pubs
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
