if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
