you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just want nice things and good sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
