this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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