well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
