im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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