I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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