...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
