On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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