Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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