Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
