do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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