it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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