youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
