If i come over, it means nothing
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
