Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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