just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
this will be a night to untag.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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