I'm drive I can fine osifer
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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