Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
