Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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