just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
