Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
