East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
