Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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