yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
