Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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