Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
