just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
