look no pants
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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