He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize