Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize