a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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