im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
