You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My dick has a subreddit
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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