In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
