Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
