i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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