I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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