Where did you get a picture of my penis
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
