Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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