Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize