I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
