try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
