did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
